Stress is with us all the time. Issues at work or at home,
getting a traffic ticket, the grocery store out of your favorite yogurt. Life
has stresses. We can go to the doctor and ask for a pill or we can learn to
deal with our stresses effectively without much medication.
Acute stress is normal and can even be lifesaving – seeing a
truck barreling down the road at us. But when stress is chronic it becomes a
major cause of ill health.
Chronic stress builds up when the demands upon us become
greater than our resources to respond in an effective manner. Stress tends to
become cumulative. You can handle the first stressor and even the second, but
when the third one occurs, even if it was rather minor, it tips over your balance
point. Since we cannot completely escape stress, our agenda must be to boost
our resources – to “fill up our cup” as Delia Chiaramonte, MD of the
University of Maryland Center for Integrative
Medicine liked to term it during her “Busting Stress” workshop at the Center’s
recent Health and Wellness Conference held in Baltimore, MD.
Integrative medicine does not avoid traditional “western”
medical approaches such as medications. But it does look at the whole person to
determine if there are other parts to the “prescription” that might be equally
or even more valuable. The agenda is to maintain health and further develop
wellness.
There are external and internal sources of stress. Our boss
ignored our hard work or disparaged our report – these are obvious external
stresses. If they become too much it may be best to just look elsewhere for a
new job and escape the situation.
But other stresses are internally mediated. We might convert
an event into a thought that in turn leads to a negative feeling that in turn causes
stress. Imagine that a loved one is late to get home and has not called. That
is the event. The thoughts can be quite different. One thought might be that he
was in an accident resulting in a stressful feeling of anxiety. Or perhaps this
event leads to the thought that he is having an affair – leading to a feeling
of hurt. Or perhaps the thought is that he just didn’t care that he was late
and didn’t bother to call – leading to a feeling of anger. Perhaps more likely
he is just stuck in bad traffic and doesn’t have his cell phone with him – in
that case you might have a feeling compassion. The three stressful feelings
came from your thought interpretation of the event. The question you need to
ask yourself is what is the likelihood of any of these thoughts being correct?
You need to restore rationale thinking. Do this by labeling
the irrational thought and then refute it with a new thought like “I have no
evidence of an accident; he is probably just stuck in traffic.” Then detach
yourself from the thought with the recognition that “this is an anxious
thought, not a rational thought.” Finally, do something to distract yourself
like playing with the kids.
To “fill up your cup” Dr Chiaramonte suggests considering
these approaches. Begin a “gratitude ritual.” This means to take a time each
day for gratitude perhaps while falling asleep or perhaps at dinner time. Think
about what is good in life – today – maybe a spring flower, a smile from your
loved one, the bright eyes of your child. It can’t be a rote thought however.
Make it different every day. Amazingly enough, it works. It will increase your
happiness and correlates well with general health and well being.
Here is a line from the song “Counting My Blessings” sung by
Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney in the movie “White Christmas.” "When my
bank roll is gettin' small, I think of when I had none at all, and I fall
asleep counting my blessings..." This is the concept of gratitude.
A second approach is to aggressively try to be a “benefit
finder” rather than a “fault finder.” It’s an approach in which you rethink and
with doing so decrease your emotional reactions. Instead of the thought, “I
have a vision problem that limits me” you might instead think of, “I still have
one good eye and the world looks good to me.”
Sleep is important. You feel more stressed if you are sleep
deprived. Most of us get too little sleep. Fill your resource cup with added
sleep. And the gratitude ritual at bed time will help you sleep more soundly.
Food is equally as important. Things to avoid are processed
foods with high levels of carbohydrates and fats (of course, these are the ones
that taste so good to us!) like doughnuts, macaroni and cheese or pizza.
Instead get more high quality proteins and skip the refined sugars as in sodas.
And add in some exercise. Just moderately paced walking each
day will not only decrease your stress but will improve your cardiovascular
health, bone health and overall add to your sense of wellness.
This may sound like a lot of effort. Actually it’s really
not. It doesn’t take much time; it improves your physical health; and it will allow
you to cope much better with stress. Better to “fill your cup” than rely on an anti-anxiety
medication.